Money was my master until I learned these three things

I have met many people who started a side gig or business out of desperation. Like many of them, I, too, started a business out of desperation. I hated living paycheck to paycheck, but that forced me to look at what tools and knowledge I had available that could turn into profit. Thankfully, the side gig turned into a business, and now it is a moderately mature business. It still has lots of room to grow and expand its services.

Though it may sound like we have achieved a certain level of success, it surely hasn't come with its pain, tears, frustration, and anxiety. However, much of this hardship was due to my relationship with money. You read that right; I used the big R word "relationship." If you are like me, having a good relationship with money wasn't something I was taught in school or by my parents. No, I've had to learn the hard way how to have a healthy relationship with money. I remember walking into a Wells Fargo branch right after graduating from Bible College to open a bank account and stepping out with a bank account AND a credit card in my hand!

Like many things involving money, debt is a big part of the equation. I had no idea how to use a credit card or manage my finances so as not to grow my debt. At the first opportunity, I swiped that card and maxed it out! Yes, this was after college. And this is how it all started. I started acquiring more debt (and often forgetting about it), with no idea it was affecting my credit score and that I was positioning myself poorly for my financial future.

Soon enough, money became my master. Money—and debt, for that matter—was calling the shots. I no longer woke up every morning with wonder and expectation of conquering the world and impacting my generation. No, I was waking up to go and do a job for 8 hours a day to pay back lenders and bills. I found myself trapped in this spinning wheel with no way out.

Fast-forward a few years. I heard someone say owning real estate and starting a business was the fastest way to get ahead. So here I am, starting a "business" out of desperation to get ahead. And instead of enjoying the ride to a "better" life, I found myself with more money anxiety than before. Once again, money was calling the shots; once again, money proved to be my master. So, how did I free myself from money calling the shots in my life, marriage, and family? It was when I learned that money is a tool, not a person. Money was created so we can have a system to exchange goods and services for something of value. In other words, we created money to tell money what to do and how to serve our purpose, not the other way around.

I have yet to achieve money mastery, but the more I get it in my head that money is a tool and that it is here to serve me, my purpose, and my business, the more I grow in knowing how to manage it. It has been through this journey that I have learned the following three things that continue helping me understand how money is a tool and not a person and that I have the power to call the shots:

1. Budgeting: creating a budget always gives me anxiety. That is because I am still a work in progress. It is always scary to see the numbers and learn where I am spending (or wasting) money. However, it is a real blessing because budgeting means taking the reins of money and steering it the way I want it to go. Whether it is more money towards paying down a credit card or more money to the vacation savings, I call the shots through budgeting. It is not perfect, but it does give me a sense of control.

2. Investing: Nothing sounds better than hearing that my money multiples while I sleep. I always feared investing, primarily because I didn't understand it. So, I took the task to read and watch a bunch of reels and YouTube videos until I gained more understanding, lessened the anxiety rooted in ignorance, and walked out practically what I learned in my research. By the way, we are blessed to have so much information readily available at our fingertips (smartphones), so leverage it.

3. There is stupid and there is smart debt: Most of us were taught debt is evil. And yes, debt can be cruel to us, the working class. But not everything is money's fault. There is such a thing as buying that big-screen TV you've been wanting using a credit card. That is stupid debt because all it is going to generate is interest. In other words, you will end up paying for that TV many times over, and the device will devalue the moment you take it out of the box. On the other hand, there is smart debt. For example, my wife and I did our due diligence in researching how much of a HELOC we could afford to renovate and update our house and eventually reap that equity investment. Smart debt looks into multiplication, while stupid debt looks toward immediate gratification.

In the same way, I have applied these three lessons to my business, and my relationship with money has grown. I am not here to advise or tell you, "Do these three things, and you will be successful." Not at all. I intend to share my journey in my relationship with money, and if you can take away a thing or two, use it to your advantage.

Alex